Saturday, July 9, 2011

Fast Forward. NEXT transition.

I'm back. The contract is done and I've been back in NY since June 30th. I had the time of my life, up's and down's included. But, in the end I am nothing but grateful of the opportunity to dance in a 1500 seat theater, make some of the strongest bonds with the most talented people I know, see the world via Toronto, Netherlands, Germany, Tenerife, and Bahamas, and to simply get a look at a different lifestyle.

I was worried about many things when I came back. Would I be the same dancer? Would I still be pretty tame when it came to wanting to dive into something new? Would I be stronger? All these questions puzzled my brain from the moment I signed the contract to start. I am so happy to say that physically my body has gone to the next level, whether my brain will allow it or not. I feel stronger as a dancer. I feel like I have the power to go to that 'performance mode' and stay away from just cruisin' in class mode. I've actually been surprising myself  in classes and auditions I've been on since I've been back. I'm glad my body just kicked into high gear because in the past it was always my mind that was holding me back. Can I do this? Am I good enough? Now...now, I just go. I have nothing to lose because I just got back. Thankfully, I spent a few days in Disney with the cast and got a mini-vacation but now I'm slowly transitioning to life back on land and functioning in the city. Everything feels refreshed and even more exciting than before. I think everyone needs to leave the city if you are there for too long. Just like anywhere else, you become desensitized after awhile because you've been in the same routine. Having been away for a year, I came back wanting to see and do everything. NYC is beautiful, I walk around with the biggest grin on my face. I'm dying to dive in.

I most recently had a revelation when I was visiting a friend at The Ailey School. She works at the desk and while I was there I got to see all the bright-eyed and bushy tailed kids come in with loads of questions about the school and how the want to dance and live in the city. One family came in and the girl was inquiring about the Fordham BFA program in addition to wondering if she could go to school for something else (pre-med) and dance. I couldn't help but put my two cents in because of my college experience. I balanced college, the ailey school, work/study and 2 studios, and a part-time job. I almost leaped across the room to talk with her. I gave her my advice and my friend gave her her own perspective since we didn't have the same paths and we had different opinions. While we were all talking, I realized I could see myself doing what I was doing, but as a job. I love to plan or coordinate how something will work out. I really liked helping the girl figure out how she would be able to balance both.  I don't know how but I want to eventually do advising for dancers or students who are about to make a transition. Whether that means working at an arts school or a college or even just talking to kids about the possibilities in life, I want to do that.
 It felt so rewarding giving her advice and I could tell her parents felt reassured. I feel like a lot of times, or even for me, there's so much information that is missed, questions that people don't know the answer to and don't know where to get the answer. I want to help get kids thinking or even inspire them to think outside the box. It felt so good to help them see the opportunity out in the world. Answers are not always in books or online, it's first hand experience that will really help you comprehend an experience. Since this happened, I was inspired to keep this as an option for a future job or even as a side-opportunity while I audition.

So, as I transition, I'm not returning back to my old lifestyle but my life-revamped. I am now a professional dancer back in NY and ready to take on the city in search for new opportunities and experiences.