Wednesday, January 4, 2012

When your best is not enough, what do you do? smile

First off, Happy New Year! The older I get, the more exciting a new year feels. It holds so much potential. Expect the unexpected. No one can know for sure what is to come, there are just assumptions, and at this moment I kind of like it that way. It makes me feel like I have power and am in control, which we all do, of my life.
Update on my life:During the holiday season I was working at Gaga's Workshop at Barney's. It was perfect timing since auditions usually calm down around the holiday time. The workshop closed on Jan 2nd and so far there are about 11 auditions I'm planning to attend in January. I'm so excited to jump back into the industry and hopefully get a job!

Now the main point of writing today. What happens if your best, or what you feel is your best, is not enough? You audition and you walk away feeling that you truly booked that job but you don't get a call. It's natural to want to feel bummed but I realized it's not worth taking my pride away. If anything, it boost my confidence because I walked out of the room feeling so proud of myself for really going 110% in that moment. Now, having not gotten a call, but knowing I've done really well, I can only say that I was not what they were looking for. This is different from going to an audition where you really, really, really want the gig and are upset because you don't get the call AND you secretly know that you were not at your best or that someone else really stepped it up and deserved it. Makes sense? To me it does. It's so easy to fall into the typical negativity of all the No's you get at auditions. It can really take a toll on your self esteem but as long as you focus on little achievements in the moment, you'll be able to pick yourself up and head to the next audition. One reservation I did have was when I noticed the same audition company was having another audition for a different show coming up. Part of me questioned if it would be weird for me to go but I quickly dispelled that thought because maybe the show I was auditioning for was not for me, but this NEW show may. I completely understand now how other performers feel when they've been to the same audition 5+ times, you feel a little awkward but you NEVER know what may happen. I'm just going to treat the moment as a fresh new opportunity to book a job!

Since January is a big audition month, what I plan to continue doing as part of my audition tracking is to take note of each audition I go to and write how it went. Some questions I write about include: did I make a cut, how did I feel about the combination, and what can I do to improve? This is a great tool for reflecting on my progress and it comes in handy when the same audition comes up again!

Happy New Year!
check out my website:
www.kimberleedmurray.com

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