Okay, change of plans. This will not be an everyday thing. I've listed my schedule..it's almost impossible to fit this in after a long day or dance or school. So, I will try and update frequently but not every single day.
The last couple days have been good. On Wednesday I had a full day of academics and work. My classes are settling in and I'm starting to see how the pace will be for each of them. My "Deconstructing the American Family" class has sooo much reading. And, it's really complex. This is usually where I start to beat myself up for always feeling one step behind everyone else. I've always had some sort of struggle in school. In elementary school, I don't know what I was doing but I rarely applied myself. I was not a good student in most subjects. It got better in high schoool. I felt like it was a fresh start and new opportunity to become a good student. I definitely improved but still ran into instances when I felt less smart than most. Finally, in college I was really feeling this battle. I love getting good grades. Because it was infrequent growing up, when I do actually get good grades I'm so satisfied with myself. I'm always striving but there are times where I really feel like I'm just not smart enough to keep up. I have to keep reminding myself that that's all the reason to try harder and really prove differently. It just seems that the conclusions people get from readings are on the total opposite interpretation that I've gotten from the same reading; and they are always right. That is the hardest, feeling like you are the only one not understanding. It's like my brain is thinking and processing things incorrectly.
I still struggle with this but when I think about it, I calm myself down and just try harder. I know I can do it and I know what it feels like to accomplish the challenge. So, I plan to do it.
My favorite class of that day seems like it is my Martin Scorcese class. It's such a comfortable environment. We watch MS films and analyze them; it's really interesting because it's allowing me to explore new types of film genres that I'm pretty sure I would've never come across. I'm not an action film fan but I've always been into the mobster/mafia legacy. I always thought it was interesting to hear the whole saga so it was really exciting when I found out that Martin Scorcese focused on this a lot in his films. My first homework for the class is coming up soon so I will see how much I got out of the films.
My Natural Disasters class started out interesting and then it's gone downhill. It's the teaching methods that I think are making this class difficult. I feel like my notes are disorganized because the teacher make jump from subject to subject at any given moment. I also can't figure out what information is considered important and what is just "for our health." Hopefully it will get better but it seems the only way I will learn in an organized way is to jot down facts from the readings I do. I will have to make a mental note to do that.
Within all these classes I have so many readings to do. There goes my weekend. Oh, I did get to hear the sound clip of my voice that the teacher used in my digital sound design class. She was demonstrating the different ways to edit the clip. It was really cool and I find myself getting really excited to work on future projects. This is another class that sets a good environment.
Today I only took Yoga and Horton because I had a dental check up. Yea, 2 wisdom teeth were extracted from my mouth about 2 weeks ago(actually it was exactly two weeks ago). What an experience, nuff said. Too bad I have to get the other two out as well but I don't have time because I'm in school. I may have to do it sooner than Christmas break, which was my intended date for round 2. Oh well.
Work has been fine. They've been cutting hours because the show hasn't been selling out much. It's rough because our merchandise is barely selling. It's sad considering we are used to $10,000 shows and now we are barely making $3,000. Oh jeez, hehe.
Tomorrow morning I will be attending the Ralph Lauren Fashion Show thanks to my sister. I'm OVERLY excited because I love the fashion world! Hey, maybe I'll get discovered..."wishful thinking." I plan to document this show as much as I can.
peace and love
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